Adrenaline, a Splash of Nos, and Sheer Determination

Posted: June 1, 2021 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

I find myself in this late hour trying to contemplate what has brought me here and what ever shall I speak on as I feel I have this inner desire to write, but am unsure of where it is going at this point… Stay with and pay close attention as it may get a little convoluted.

As Colton, my youngest has spent the last 3 day running fever and coughing uncontrollably, I have attempted in all my efforts to be a good daddy and be at his side. He is only six and such a warrior that he takes very little if any medicine. He is like his grandma, my Mom who was a soldier the likes of which this world had never seen. So fierce and strong for which pain did not hurt…not because pain wasn’t real, but rather she had mind-control over her pain like a green-beret or the fiercest of marines. I look at Colton and know she would be so proud. He is soldier and a warrior just like her. Just like her, he is an inspiration to me all the time… but I digress…. just bragging about my amazing boy.

So, I have found myself trying to be here for him and also keeping a close eye on him while he sleeps as he has struggled with coughing fits… and made time to play and hang out with Corey II who is 7. Just my luck that Kimberly has been stacked up with work…they are short nurses and she has been working an insane amount of hours… the last two days she has pulled between 12-13 hours and then today, she worked over 15…

It has been quite the week to say the least. I find myself running on the littlest of fumes have slept less than 6 hours in the last 95 hours… and now after having a drank a couple of Nos throughout the day and then sitting down to fill a few orders while I watch my little boys doze off in the living room where I can work yet keep a close eye while they sleep, I sat and had a nice long discussion my brotha from anotha motha…

Amidst trading, filling orders, watching my boys, we dove into where we really were with some things…. I also just finished finished a bottle of wine while on mere moments of sleep… I know that I was truly insightful. This is something I recommend to you all on a more regular basis and by “you all”, I also refer to myself as making time for you and your Fam to truly reflect on things and discuss, you give such opportunity for room to grow and learn from each other as well as build one another up. God did not put us here to walk alone. We are here together… You’ve got to find your die or die homies that will take it to the mat for you every day. Once you have found them, which I promise will be few… you’ve got to always be 100 with them… nothing but honest all the time and allow them the same freedom with you. We need that freedom and need to hear what they have to lay down also. We have to keep each other in check.

We all have flaws and are broken at times… Be open to your own brokenness and not just allow but encourage them to help decipher your shortcomings. They also need to be there to elevate you and propel you forward as you must also do for them.

People have always told me that I am such a positive person but the things is that I am aware of many of my faults and don’t allow them to break me.. I just work on them. I am also very well aware of all the blessings in my life so dwelling on how life has fallen short or hasn’t turned out this way or that just seems silly to me. It isn’t positive, it is realistic. I am blessed, and I know it!

Count your blessings and share them with those around you.

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