In taking stock in those that are suffering from tragic circumstance due to accident or unfortunate health issues, I have begun to consider the possibilities from both angles and am presently formulating my own perspective in regards to the potential psychological conflict.
It tends to happen quite frequently that when a person is suddenly stricken with a debilitating illness or some unforeseen accident, their life changes…not just because of their new health condition, but in regards to their surroundings…more specifically, their support group. Friends and even family members begin to disappear; they suddenly have work that gets busy…family with conflicts…studying to do…homework…chores…errands…
It seems whatever it is, there is always some reasonable reason for them to not be around, and quickly it becomes a habit until they have stopped coming around at all.
From my perspective, this happens for several reasons. We as typical arrogant human beings, have the ‘Superman Complex’. People see all these terrible things in the world but believe somehow they are immune. “It could never happen to me,” they say. We all do it. Let’s be real about this. When seeing a close loved one be hit hart or effected by such a situation, people can’t take it…people shut down. They can’t face the reality that it happened so close to them without accepting the fact that it could indeed happen to them. This is a terrible situation. They definitely don’t want to step out of their own illusion and face the fact that this is a real situation and someone they hold dear is suffering, so they instead move on…they’re no longer close to this person, they no longer have to face it.
An even worse situation is when people tend to assume that with suffering comes a lack of life…these people are not yet dead. They are alive and kickin’. And some of them are kicking very hard…desperately seeking some attention…some companionship. People get it in their minds that their loved one who is suffering can’t possibly have a life…what’s left for them to think about or speak about other than what is debilitating them. This is far from the case in a grand majority of cases. And even in those cases, there is a percentage of those that could be reverted to a more joyful life and situation if they had some companionship to inspire joy…to inspire life. Frequently, when people see their loved ones in that light, they feel as though they can’t handle being around them since they have nothing left. If you were around them, they would have you. Think about it.
Sadly, the bottleneck in this continued avoidance in efforts to ease one’s own situation…one’s own comfort level…one’s own selfish state of being…they frequently succumb to their own suffering. In dealing with their own psychological discomfort of the other person’s suffering, they avoid to the point of no return…to the point at which they feel they cannot come back…to the point to which their loved has moved on and doesn’t want them to come back…to the point at which they have lost their loved one…sadly there is no turning back.
The reality is that this sort of behavior is pretty typical in our society here in America. People have this whole, “can’t someone else do it” attitude. Or they are far too consumed with themselves and what they are going through to concern themselves with what others are being plagued by. In efforts to appeal to the masses and their inherent selfishness…I am asking you to think of it from a purely selfish perspective…
Are you willing to lose this person that you so quickly have lost the time for?
Are you ready to give up all you had with them and all that the future could hold for the two of you?
Dig deep and really truly analyze these questions and yourself…because far too many have had these questions answered for them…for lack of time.
Time continues ticking…you don’t want to miss out on all the joy that could be shared if you just thought for a moment from another’s perspective.
beingcoreybayless 